A Sanguine Winter Evening

While I walked down a busy street with people chatting and laughing, a group of girls giggling and dressed in skirts and sweaters passed by. Cold breeze swept through my face as I walked into a cafe to meet an old friend. Dressed in a white T-shirt and blue jeans with an olive green jacket I felt warm and excited! Most of us tend to notice a lot of things while walking that we wouldn't otherwise. A woman stood across the road and held her baby carelessly in her arms. He looked starved, weak and dirty. A beehive of thoughts swarmed across my head. How do we react in times like these? Some of us either thank God for the comfort he gave us or simply walk past with a sympathetic, sorry look. Some tourists found it amusing and a woman grabbed her husband's arm and exclaimed "Look at that, so cute". Instantly, smiles were exchanged, pictures were clicked. An old man and I stood together overlooking the irony. I wondered if he thought what I did.

The cafe was quiet and just how I would have preferred it to be. If you know me, you would know that sitting in a cafe by myself reading a book and listening to music is exactly what I would love to do on a sanguine winter evening. Brad Arnold and Bob Seger sang 'Landing in London' to me while I read 'Love in the time of Cholera'.

After I'd read for an hour she finally arrived. While I sipped on my Hazelnut Latte she spoke of work, family and old school friends whom we'd lost touch with. We bid our goodbyes and promised to keep in touch.

Usually on such calm evenings, realizations strike. One such realization that struck me that day was that I'd changed. I could now make conversation.

I miss!

I miss those mornings when we used to sneak into dad's room and take turns to wake him up. The way he used to emerge out and scare the wits out of us littlies! Wooh! The who-will-wake-him-up-today ceremony used to take up a lot of time of the morning hustle bustle! Ta and I used to look forward to the 5 minute scooter ride to school. One of us used to take the, now embarrassing, spot in the front with the chin resting on the front part of the scooter and hands tightly clutching the handle!

Oh I miss that scooter ride!

Now, I wake up with utmost reluctance to go to college. While I manage a quick shower and run to the bus stop, friends SMS regular updates about the bus's whereabouts. This was the first step towards losing that sense of security that I had on the scooter ride with every second person waving out cheerfully at dad. I remember asking him in awe 'Baba, Does half the city know you?' He would shrug and say 'No beta'.

Ma used to spend hours coaxing us to drink milk before we left for school. The fuss that followed usually got very unpleasant. She sometimes threatened to come to school with the mug and trust me she was quite capable of doing so. 

Oh I miss that glass of milk!

Things change and I've always been taught to adapt to these unprecedented changes! Probably the reason why I can now gulp down piping hot tea scalding my throat. For most of us school and memories are like the perfect dose of nostalgia. We remember the tiniest of details. Usually, the last hour at school used to be History. Ta was most definitely not one of Sister Georgina's favorites. S and I used to wait for times when she'd get into trouble. Sister couldn't bear mischief of any sorts and much later did we realize that she was oversensitive about 'slip of tongues'. Minutes after I was giggling at one of those laughter inducing errors, she came panting down to my seat, looked me in the eye with her big nostrils flared up and walked back. I was like 'Heh? What was that for?' The lady went storming back to the blackboard and wrote in big bold letters ‘A SLIP OF TONGUE IS NOT A MISTAKE AND THE ONE WHO LAUGHS AT IT IS A FOOL'. Ta was just glad that she wasn't mistaken for me.

Oh I miss those classes!

Ta and I used to get home from school with many a stories to tell. But it wasn't the stories that we looked forward to the most, it was Tiger. He used to jump on us with his heart pounding, running towards us with his tail wagging vigorously. Trust me on this, that is the loveliest feeling in this world. Both of us used to cuddle him up, pamper him, run around the entire house with him. He had a bark for each emotion. The choosiness and greediness with food, the furious tail wagging to greet each member of the family was most endearing. None of us could stop ourselves from feeding him from our plates during lunch. THAT is the puppy dog look one just cannot refuse anything to. I miss feeding him, miss petting his forehead gently pulling his ears back, miss running around the whole place like crazy lunatics. All this frenzy and frolic that he created for all of us always felt like an assurance and his way of saying ‘Hey I’m laughing out loud with you!’ After college when I get back there’s usually nothing that I am excited about.

Oh I miss him! :'(

Every second, every minute spent with Tiger is going to be cherished and remembered forever. He has been the most special part of my life and shall always be.

The clueless me didn't know that being away from home could turn out to be THIS difficult. It sure is very exciting at the beginning but things just keep getting worse. The only and only way to deal with homesickness is to keep yourself busy. Listening to music helped me immensely. Family and friends have been of great support as well. Thanks to everyone who has always tried to make it easier for me.

Oh how badly I miss home!

There’s a lot to more to what I miss. Lets keep that for the next post. It took me quite long to come up with the first post but here it comes for people who matter the most to me.

Love
Nandini